


Smutty September Stories

by alkjira



Series: Prompty Goodness [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anonymous Sex, Bondage, Breathplay, Church Sex, Come Eating, Consensual Somnophilia, Corsetry, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Doctor Kink, Double Anal Penetration, F/F, F/M, Fisting, Fucking Machines, Gags, Genderbending, Intercrural Sex, Leather Collar, M/M, Masturbation, Mirror Sex, Multi, Nipple Play, Nude Modeling, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overstimulation, Painplay, Pegging, Spanking, Threesome, Vaginal Fingering, Voyeurism, chastity devices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 17:47:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 15,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2237940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>30 days, 30 fic(lets) each 500 words<br/>Various pairings, various scenarios, various level of smut, but I'll try my best.</p><p>Basically this is Smutty Fluffy Summer only with new prompts and slightly longer stories.<br/>Trying to have just one additional tag/chapter, so practice your counting if you want to know what the chapter is about, or just look at the title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One - Overstimulation - Dwalin/Bilbo

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I will manage to write something with plot sooner or later. *pets poor WIPs*
> 
> Prompts are always just inspiration, and after that my brain might work in mysterious ways, you have been warned.

"Not so fast,” Dwalin growled as Bilbo tried to push back against him.

The Hobbit groaned as Dwalin tightened his grip on well-padded hips. Groaned and  _still_ tried to inch backwards, to try and take more of Dwalin’s cock inside.

"No need to rush,” Dwalin said and parted Bilbo’s arse cheeks with his thumbs to get a better view of his cock slowly nudging into Bilbo’s tight and greedy little arse.  
  
Dwalin didn’t want to go too fast and hurt his lover, but he also didn’t want to go fast because certain things _deserved_ to be savoured, and the slick, hot clench of Bilbo around him was at the top of that list.   
  
It was their second time together like this. The first… they had both been a little too tense to properly enjoy themselves. Oh, it’d been good but... yeah… Room for improvement.  
  
But _this_ was already so much better, and if it was _this_ much better already on the second go, Dwalin was eager to find out just how good it could get.

"There-,” Bilbo said and shivered beautifully. "There's _quite_ the difference between rushing, oh, and what you are doing. I’m just trying-"

"You’re trying to rush things.” Dwalin rocked his hips and pushed his cock deeper inside ,slowly but steadily.

Once he’d bottomed out and his stones pressed against Bilbo’s arse the Hobbit made a high-pitched whine and shuddered from top to toe. Dwalin grinned as the whine was very cute; and definitely sounded pleased - but he then frowned in confusion as the shuddering didn’t stop and Bilbo tightened like a vice around him.

Sliding his hand around Bilbo’s stomach confirmed what he had been suspecting.

"Did you finish already?"  
  
Insensible moaning was the only reply Dwalin received, well that and Bilbo tightening around him again as Dwalin gently squeezed his hand around Bilbo’s definitely messy cock.

Trying not to sigh Dwalin began to pull out, only to freeze as Bilbo squirmed and whined low in his throat.

"Don't-" Bilbo panted and Dwalin already had the beginnings of an apology on his lips. "-stop. Don't stop. Please. Don't-"  
  
"But, you spilled?" Dwalin stared in confusion at Bilbo’s back. Most were too sensitive to continue after that, and the last thing Dwalin wanted was to do anything to hurt Bilbo.  
  
"Can, again. If you continue.”  
  
It took a few moments for the meaning of those words to sink in, but as they did Dwalin grinned from ear to ear. He leaned in and pressed his lips to the nob of Bilbo’s spine, just at the base of his neck.

“Do you want me to take you until your knees give out and I’m fucking you down into your own mess until you come again? Would you like that?”  
  
Bilbo shuddered again, moaning.  
  
“Could you do a third? When you can’t speak and all you can think of is me inside of you, my hand on you?”

“Who- who is trying to rush things _now_ ,” Bilbo said faintly.


	2. Day Two - Size kink - Dís/Tauriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the other suggestions! They were awesome and I'm sure we'll see most if not all of them in later chapters.

Dís was the source of endless fascination for Tauriel.  
  
When they had first become lovers she’d been surprised as their bodies were not very different after all. Over how alike their bodies actually were.  
  
(It was possible that one should _not_ listen to rumours about what exactly Dwarfs hid beneath their clothes…)  
  
But after the first pleased surprised that there were no rough, stone-like parts involved (it was _definitely_ possible that rumours should _never_ be listened to) Tauriel was even more pleased to begin to discover all the ways in which she and Dís were _not_ alike.

There were obvious things, like the colour of their skin, hair, eyes. Their ears. The way Tauriel’s cheeks and shoulders carried freckles and Dís’ chin and jaw were covered in dark, rough hair that still managed to feel as pleasant as the finest silk on Tauriel’s skin when they kissed.  
  
Their sizes.  
  
Dís was tall for one of the Dwarven kind, but still short enough that Tauriel needed to be on her knees for Dís to stand taller than her. But her shoulders were broad, and her thighs were strong, and her hands… Her hands made Tauriel understand why the Dwarfs were so very talented at crafting, because she could often feel herself melting beneath Dís’ touch; ready to be formed into whatever the Dwarven princess would desire.  
  
“Beautiful,” Dís murmured as she slid her hands down Tauriel’s chest, stopping to tease pink nipples in hardness before continuing to stroke over her stomach. Tauriel sucked in a breath and let it out shakily.  
  
Dís’ fingers were thicker than her own, but shorter, and Tauriel was impatient to have them inside of her. She was already ready for it, there was an eager throbbing between her legs that seemed to call for her lover with every beat of her heart. _Dís, Dís, Dís._

But Dís, kneeling on the bed beside her, would not give her that. Not even when Tauriel spread her legs and asked for it. Not yet.  
  
Instead she bent her head to put her lips to Tauriel’s right breast, kissing the pale skin on the slight roundness before flicking her tongue over the tight bud of the nipple.  
  
Tauriel dug her fingers into the soft mattress before realising that there were much better things to do with her hands.

As they cupped Dís’ breasts the princess groaned and arched into the touch, bringing her head up from Tauriel’s chest.  
  
The deep blue of Dís’ eyes felt like falling into the summer sky on a clear day, and it distracted Tauriel enough that the first slide of fingers through the wet curls between her legs startled her. Two fingers sliding inside at once made her gasp and press her head back into the pillow.

“So wet for me,” Dís said and sounded as pleased as if Tauriel had given her a long sought after gift.  
  
It was always like that, to Tauriel’s amazement. Somehow Dís thought that she was the lucky one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Body fluids is the prompt for tomorrow and I already know what I want to do. But suggestions of your favourite pairings are welcome anyway as I've got plenty of prompts left. Which of your favourite characters aren't getting enough love?


	3. Day Three - Body fluids - Beorn/Bilbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda ended up with a bit of a size thing going on here too, but with Beorn that's rather unavoidable.   
> Aaaaand this story isn't entirely what I meant to do when I started but hey, swings and roundabouts.

The first time Bilbo had the realisation he started snickering so hard he woke Beorn.  
  
“Dark outside,” Beorn grumbled without lifting his head from the pillow. “Time to sleep, including little bunnies.”  
  
“Says he who sometimes runs around in the shape of a big bear in the middle of the night,” Bilbo protested, but his lips were still twitching as he rolled over to face his lover.

“ _Sleep_ ,” Beorn prompted and reached out to place his hand on Bilbo’s side, pulling him close.

“That is not a reply,” Bilbo complained, but rather half-heartedly. He yawned and then squirmed out from beneath Beorn’s palm, ignoring the Man’s wordless complaint, and then proceeded to crawl on top of him.  
  
“Not your bed,” Beorn informed him, but Bilbo pressed his lips to a broad shoulder and ignored him completely. Beorn might not be a bed, but he was awfully comfortable, and warm, and as such, he’d just have to pay the price for it.  
  
He’d not asked what he’d found so funny, so Bilbo wouldn’t tell him. Not yet anyway.  
  
-  
  
As with many realisations made on the verge of falling asleep Bilbo rather forgot all about it, and didn’t remember until he and Beorn next made love.   
  
Bursting out into laughter in the middle of a tumble was not the most gracious thing one could do, but luckily Beorn seemed rather more bemused than offended. Having just spent might have softened his mood somewhat, or so Bilbo supposed.  
  
“You’re going to make the dogs want to come in and see what is so funny,” Beorn rumbled, gently poking Bilbo on the arse with a big finger.  
  
Bilbo would have replied, but he was too busy laughing. Laughing and trying not to spend quite yet.   
  
He was laughing hard enough to shake his entire body, which felt awfully nice as it made him rub against Beorn quite insistently, but it would be terribly undignified to finish like this.  
  
But, undignified or not, Bilbo’s cock showed to have a great sense of humour, and with a snicker and a moan he spurted, adding to the slick mess on Beorn’s stomach.   
  
If possible, that made him laugh even more.

“What is it then?” Beorn asked, stroking his hand down Bilbo’s back, and Bilbo’s hips jerked a final time. 

Gathering all of his resolve; greatly trained by going on a quest with thirteen Dwarfs not that long ago, Bilbo sucked in a deep breath and another, until he was at least somewhat calm again. 

“Do you think _this_ cream of yours will also go with strawberries?” Bilbo asked. “And have I mentioned how happy I am you only share _this_ cream with me? It’s less sweet but-“ he ran his hand through the white-pale mess on Beorn’s hairy stomach, coating it thoroughly. “But I’m very fond of it even so.”  
  
“Cream?” Beorn asked, his eyes intent on Bilbo as he lifted his hand to his mouth and began licking his fingers clean.

“Cream,” Bilbo agreed and snickered.


	4. Day Four - Bondage - Dori/Dwalin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is off it's cuz part of the family is being a moron and I was somewhat distracted.   
> If it's not off, yay writing.

The muscles in Dwalin’s chest and arms were on perfect display with his hands and arms tied above his head just _so_.   
  
Dori ran a finger down the centre of Dwalin’s chest, keeping the touch gentle, but still the strong muscles jumped, perhaps eager for more attention.

When he looked up, Dwalin’s eyes were intent on his, dark like the sky just before a thunder storm.  
  
“Safe words?” Dori prompted.  
  
“Red for stop, yellow for pause,” Dwalin replied, and Dori flattened his hand to the powerful chest on display, feeling Dwalin’s words as rumble inside. 

“And green,” Dwalin added. “For when things are good. Or when things can get even better.” He looked down at Dori’s hand on his chest. “Green."

Knowing that they might as well speed things up a little – Dwalin couldn’t keep his arms like that forever – Dori smiled and pressed both his hands to Dwalin’s chest, leaning in for a kiss that melted into several more kisses.  
  
Trailing both his hands and kisses downwards Dori made sure that each patch of Dwalin’s skin got the attention it deserved, and once he came to the belly button Dwalin’s breathing had taken on a distinctively laboured quality.  
  
Dwalin’s cock appeared to be straining up towards Dori, and he blew a stream of cool air towards it just to see it twitch. Dwalin moaned and spread his legs further, but otherwise didn’t move, not even to pull on the ropes, darling that he was.

Dori inched down a little further and pressed his lips to the weeping glans peeking out from the foreskin. He bestowed a chaste kiss on it before looking back up at Dwalin.  
  
“I’d like for you to lie as still as possible. Or if you want, I could tie up your legs as well?”  
  
Dwalin looked torn. “I can be still,” he said after a few moments.   
  
“Another time then,” Dori said easily and without further ado he curled his hand around the base of Dwalin’s cock and bent his head to take as much as he could into his mouth, flattening his tongue to the underside.  
  
After a short pause to allow Dori to fit himself between Dwalin’s legs, he continued the very pleasant task he’d taken upon himself.   
  
He wondered if he could get Dwalin to the point where merely talking would bring him the rest of the way over, because that was a sight always worth-

“Yellow.”

Dori immediately pulled off Dwalin’s cock, but kept his hands on Dwalin’s thighs.  
  
“My arms,” Dwalin panted. “Pins and needles. Sorry.”  
  
“No, thank you for telling me,” Dori murmured as he quickly moved up to undo knots, straddling Dwalin’s chest as he did so for easy reaching. “Do you want to continue without the ropes or-“  
  
As Dwalin got a hand free he shook it to get the blood flowing again, and then fitted it to Dori’s side. “Emerald, lime, avocado, jade, olive-“  
  
It took a moment for Dori to understand and then he beamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm sorry-not-sorry if this is a bit more proper than you might have expected, but I quite honestly blame 50 shades of grey as that pile of moronic shit makes me feel I _need_ to point out how two people doing stuff like this _could_ act towards each other when they're not written by someone who is only slightly more clever than a grasshopper. (she might know to use a keyboard, but obviously can't even use wikipedia, I rest my case)
> 
> Tomorrow is Breath Play... similar territory, but hopefully new adventures to be had.  
> Suggestions for the people involved?


	5. Day Five - Breathplay - Bilbo/Bifur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you read the end notes.

It would be easy for anyone walking into the bedroom to get the wrong impression.  
  
Bifur; powerful shoulders and straining muscles, towered over Bilbo; slight, chubby, seemingly defenceless - pressing him down into the bed.  
  
Bifur’s hips rolled forward with ruthless efficiency, driving his hard cock deep into Bilbo with every thrust. There was the smack of skin against skin, and the slick, dirty sound each time Bifur’s slippery cock disappeared into Bilbo’s snug, clenching warmth.  
  
One of Bifur’s hands was wrapped tightly around Bilbo’s throat, and Bilbo thrashed and squirmed, small gasps and moans just barely escaping his mouth. When Bifur tightened his hand the slightest bit more Bilbo’s next gasp for air was one without success. One of Bilbo’s hands was trying to curl around Bifur’s wrist, perhaps to try and push him away?

But no, if you’d looked closer, you’d see that Bilbo’s right hand was merely holding on to Bifur’s wrist, loosely grasping it, but ready to dig his nails into Bifur’s skin if he wanted what they were doing to stop. He couldn’t really trust that he’d be able to make any sounds, and well, even if he did Bifur wouldn’t have heard him.  
  
Bilbo’s other hand was fisted in the sheets, holding on until his knuckles turned as white as the sheet. He was so close, so _close_. Just, just a little more. He attempted once more to draw air into his lungs, and this time Bifur loosened his grip enough that he succeeded, and Bilbo gasped in mingled relief and frustration.

Bifur’s other hand, the one not wrapped around Bilbo’s neck, was wrapped around Bilbo’s weeping cock, fisting it with quick sure motions, each pull bringing him closer to the edge.

So, _so_ close.  
  
Bifur’s cock inside of him felt incredibly good, and his hand around him too, _both_ hands, which was why Bilbo weakly cried out in protest when the hand around his cock suddenly disappeared. It was a very short-lived protest.  Bifur curled his hand around Bilbo’s hip, lifting him slightly to change the angle enough that sparks exploded behind Bilbo’s eyes, sparks that grew to turn his entire vision white as Bifur’s hand tightened around his throat once more, as he leaned into to kiss the last air right out of Bilbo’s mouth.  
  
Hand now clinging to Bifur’s wrist , Bilbo tangled his other hand in the wild, messy locks of Bifur’s hair to pull him close, to try and show that the last thing he wanted in the world was for Bifur to stop what he was doing. Nothing existed but the two of them; there was nothing but Bifur’s cock inside of him, the soft, hard, rough drag of sweaty skin on skin; the way his cock rubbed up between their stomachs every time Bifur rocked his hips forward.

Bilbo wasn’t really aware of coming, not because he blacked out, but because it was difficult to notice one single sensation when it felt like lightening had enveloped his entire body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Public Service Announcement  
> For the love of ice cream, do not choke your partner or get choked, unless you both know what you're doing.  
> Why not you ask? Well, how does heart damage and brain damage sound? Possible death?  
> And that's why you don't.  
> Trust is fine and well, of course you shouldn't do it with someone you don't trust. But trust isn't enough if you don't know what you're doing, and let's face it, chances are that you really won't know what you're doing. But fantasy is good :)


	6. Day Six - Corsets - Nori/Dís

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, one corset. Not that I don't think Nori wouldn't look gorgeous in one, but that will need to be another time.

“You are allowed to touch,” Dís said after Nori had spent quite some time just staring at her. Her voice was amused, and the sparkle in her eyes made them shine brighter than the Arkenstone ever had or could.

“Oh I will,” Nori said, eyes flicking up to meet hers before immediately looking back down. “Just, making plans. Admiring. Trying not to come in my pants.”  
  
Dís’ chuckles were low and warm, and made her breasts bounce in a way that Nori couldn’t help but be enchanted by. They were lovely breasts after all, and now they were even more so, they were just so _there_. His cock twitched again, and Nori silently asked it to show some restraint. It wasn’t like it belonged to a Dwarf in his thirties.  
  
The deep blue corset clung lovingly to every single curve, dipping in at the waist and then swelling out at the hips again, where it was met by matching blue knickers, just a shade lighter than the lace, silk and ribbons of the corset.  
  
No stockings, which meant there was a wide expanse of skin on view, all of it calling out for Nori to touch it. If only he could decide where to start.  
  
Dís gave Nori a teasing smile and spun around in a circle, making her hair; which hung in black, gleaming waves, dance around her shoulders.  
  
“I did not think I would wear it this long after you entered my chambers,” she said after coming to a stop once more. Dark eyebrows lifted in mock-surprise. “Is there something wrong with it that is keeping you from tearing it off me?”  
  
“Have you ever known me to handle something priceless that carelessly,” Nori said and feigned hurt.

“There was that dress with the silver embroidery…”  
  
“Hardly priceless,” Nori scoffed and closed the distance between them.  
  
Dís being taller put Nori at a very opportune height to bury his face in her breasts, _if_ he should chose to do so.  
  
“This on the other hand… I would hope whoever made it has at least been given a wheelbarrow and the instructions to pick whatever they wanted from the treasury.”  
  
Dís’ lips twitched. “I promise she's been suitably compensated for her labour.”  
  
“Hmm,” Nori glanced down at the corset again. “I would think whatever she received is not enough.”

“So far _I_ have received nothing but pretty words from you,” Dís pointed out. “That is not all I hoped to get.”  
  
“Would my princess care to tell me what she _did_ expect?” Nori asked and dropped to his knees. If possible, the view was even more impressive from down there.  
  
“I was hoping you would care to take me to bed, tear off my underwear and put your tongue to better use than talking.”  
  
Nori grinned up at Dís, and then leaned in, rubbing his face against her crotch, breathing in the subtle scent of her arousal. “I wouldn’t have to take you to bed to do that bit.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one is Creative Sexual Positions
> 
> That one will be Bofur and someone, probably Kíli.  
> Unless anyone else will convince me otherwise?


	7. Day Seven - Creative sexual positions - Bofur/Kíli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last set of prompts we had something like new sexual position, so to avoid this being the same thing (especially since Bofur snuck in to get involved with both) we're getting creative! Cause as I think I've said, prompts = inspiration only. ;)

“Kíli,” Bofur begged. “C’mon, please. Aren’t you done soon?”  
  
“Soon,” Kíli said without looking at Bofur, which of he of course noticed.

“You’re not even _looking_ at me anymore. Do I really need to lie here?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Can I at least wank then? I can lie here perfectly still and wank? Because I’m dying here.”  
  
Kíli lifted his head and gave Bofur a grin over the easel. “Mum told me that’s just a myth.”  
  
“Your mum doesn’t have balls,” Bofur grumbled. “What would she know about it.”  
  
Kíli snickered. “Five minutes. I promise. Then I’m done, and I’ll be sure to be _very_ grateful for your help.”  
  
“I’m never modelling for you again,” Bofur sighed. “Or at least not naked.”  
  
“No one asked you to get a hard-on,” Kíli pointed out.  
  
“I’m naked and you’ve been _staring_ at me for ages.” Bofur glanced down at his poor neglected erection. “Look, he’s even crying about it.”  
  
“You made this harder on-“  
  
Bofur snickered and Kíli snorted. “Shut it. But I can’t exactly turn in a portrait of you with a raging boner to my teacher, so I had to do that part from memory. If your cock’s not right then don’t blame me.”  
  
“If my cock’s not right, blame you,” Bofur mused. “I’ve a feeling that might come in handy sooner or later.”  
  
-  
  
“Done!” Kíli proclaimed after another eternity had passed. “You can-“

But Bofur was already off the couch and moments later he’d pressed Kíli up against the wall, taking his mouth in a demanding kiss. Burying one hand in Kíli’s hair Bofur fitted the other to his lover’s hip, holding it still as he rubbed his aching cock against Kíli’s thigh.   
  
There was the faint sound of a paintbrush falling the floor, but Bofur paid zero attention to it. Not when he finally got to do anything else but lie on a couch and look at Kíli being all intent and focused, nibbling his bottom lip and messing up his hair by running paint stained fingers through it, and looking all too bloody delectable.  
  
“You-“ Kíli panted between kisses, arms wrapped around Bofur’s neck. “ _Colour_.”  
  
“I’ll make you see _stars_ ,” Bofur promised as he pressed his mouth to Kíli’s neck and bit down lightly.

“No- me-“  
  
“Yes, you,” Bofur purred and Kíli made a noise between a snort and a giggle.   
  
“No, I- oh fuck me.”  
  
Grinning, Bofur sucked on that spot of skin again. “Gladly.”  
  
“While I don’t, ah, mind that, at all, I meant-“  
  
Bofur whined when Kíli pushed him back. “Don’t make me go back to the couch. I don’t even _like_ our couch right now.”  
  
“Look down,” Kíli prompted and Bofur did, because at the moment he would do anything to- Oh.  
  
“I’ve got colour all over me.”  
  
“Because I’ve colour all over my shirt,” Kíli said and shook his head. “How could you not have seen that?”

“Well, to be honest I’ve been picturing you sans the shirt for the last half-hour or so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bofur and Thorin dirty talk tomorrow!  
> And more smutty smut if everything goes to plan.


	8. Day Eight - Dirty Talk - Thorin/Bofur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things didn't go exactly to plan. But it's kinda smutty?

Bofur, to no one’s surprise, was a talker. In bed, or when pressed up again the wall, or in the bath, on the floor, and (on one memorable occasion) on top of a pony.  
  
Thorin, on the other hand was not a Dwarf of many words. In bed or otherwise. However when he _did_ get talkative… that sort of thing was what had prompted the pony incident in the first place.

-  
  
They’d had a pony each as they’d left Lake-town, but as Bofur’s began to limp they’d been forced to ( ~~decline the offers from five guards for Bofur to take their ponies~~ ) share Thorin’s pony for the last hour’s ride home to Erebor.  
  
Thorin rode at the front of their little group, and no one noticed when the arm he’d wrapped around Bofur’s waist moved a little as his hand began to inch its way down to Bofur’s crotch.  
  
An action Bofur _had_ been about to protest, truly, but then-  
  
“When we get home I want you bouncing in my lap _without_ any cloth between us,” Thorin murmured as he gently ran his fingers over the soft bulge of Bofur’s cock tucked away beneath soft cloth.  
  
“Tho-rmaha?” Bofur said and shivered.  
  
“Or perhaps on all fours- no, in my lap. Facing me so I can kiss you as you take my cock inside of you.”  
  
“Ahhrm.” Bofur cleared his throat as he tried to decide whether to move closer to Thorin, closer to Thorin’s hand, or if both those prospects were really bad ideas. “Thorin, I-“  
  
“Would you like that?” Thorin asked as he moved his hand away to stroke the inside of Bofur’s thigh.  
  
“Thorin we- we are not alone,” Bofur protested, though somewhat half-heartedly.  
  
“I am just speaking to my beloved consort,” Thorin replied, and his attempt to sound innocent made Bofur snort with laughter.  
  
“I adore when you laugh while we make love,” Thorin murmured, and it made Bofur’s chuckles end in a shocked little hiccup. “Especially laughter just before I take you or you take me. Your eyes will sparkle with mirth and then glaze over with pleasure. And they always flutter close at the same time your sweet mouth will fall open and silently beg for my kisses.”  
  
Bofur most definitely did not whine, that was wholly unbecoming a royal consort.  
  
“I will get you back for this you know,” Bofur protested as he caught Thorin’s wandering hand and pressed it firmly against his no longer soft cock. “You couldn’t have waited until we were actually home?”  
  
“And miss the opportunity to have you worked up and eager to-“  
  
“Strangle you is what I’ll do if we can’t go straight to our chambers,” Bofur grumbled and tried to work out how to wriggle his arse against Thorin’s crotch without falling off the pony. “You’re going to fuck me so good I'll forget my own name.”  
  
Thorin’s chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. “How about until all you know is _my_ name?”  
  
“We have a deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And let me cheat and tell you that when they arrive at Erebor the parts of Thorin's cheeks and neck not hidden by his beard will sport a dark, splotchy blush and Bofur will be in need of a change of clothing. And they'll be grinning like morons.
> 
> -
> 
> Thorin will make an appearance again tomorrow for the double penetration prompt, and if you manage to guess who the two people joining him are you are psychic. And that's not me being coy and it turns out to be Bilbo and Dwalin, this is me being honestly surprised if anyone can guess it.


	9. Day Nine - Double penetration - Thorin/Ori/Bifur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering that there's like a million combinations I'm not surprised that no one guessed this combo, but I'm also fairly confident that this is the first time this tag will be used. Which is a shame. All possible combinations should be used in this fandom. Except for the ones with Orcs in them (sorry Orc lovers!).

Ori bit his lip when Thorin wouldn’t say anything.  
  
“You don’t like it?”

Bifur snorted and curled his hand around Ori’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. “ _Wait_ ,” he murmured, before tracing his tongue over Ori’s bottom lip to prevent further abuse. “ _I think you surprised him, my opal_.”   
  
After a glance towards Thorin, who still hadn’t said a word, perhaps not even blinked, Ori looked back at Bifur. “Really? But-“  
  
Bifur shushed him. “ _Allow him to ponder what you have proposed_.” He waggled his eyebrows. “ _We will entertain ourselves until then.”_  
  
  
-  
  
  
Despite Ori’s hesitation (shouldn’t one of them just… nudge him or something?) they were both naked on the bed, trading kisses, when Thorin decided to come out of his stupor.  
  
“Is that even _possible_?”

“ _’tis lucky you act quicker in battle than in the bedroom, my king_ ,” Bifur teased, snickering when Ori tugged on his beard and told him not to be rude.  
  
“If anyone suggested _that_ to me on the battlefield I would likely not take it any better,” Thorin grumbled as he folded his arms over his chest. “You are both naked,” he added, rather unnecessarily.   
  
Before Bifur had time to comment on that, Ori covered his mouth, but only with his hand much to Bifur’s disappointment. “I think you should join us,” Ori said, his eyes big and hopeful. “And we could talk about my suggestion?”

Bifur’s eyes sparkled as his clever fingers signed several things that had nothing to do with talking.  
  
  
-  
  
  
“This-“ Thorin hissed out a breath. “Are you sure it’s not hurting you?”  
  
“Hmm?” Ori said, eyelashes fluttering. “No, it’s very good.”  
  
Bifur’s voice was a strained growl when he spoke. “ _May I move_?”  
  
“Yes, please,” Ori replied, showing that Dori had raised him right. Though it was very unlikely they’d ever discussed something like this.  
  
Thorin gritted his teeth as Bifur’s stout cock dragged along his own as he slowly pulled out until just the fat head of his cock remained inside of Ori; the head of his, but _all_ of Thorin’s cock.  
  
“ _You are missing a most wondrous sight_ ,” Bifur informed them both, and Ori gasped and Thorin cursed as a thick thumb came to rub around the stretched rim over Ori’s hole. Both these things of course prompted Bifur to do it again.  
  
Ori shuddered and bent his head to rest it on Thorin’s shoulder. “Less looking, more moving.”  
  
“Agreed,” Thorin rumbled. “But add more oil first, just in case.”  
  
“It’s-“  
  
“ _Thy will be done_ ,” Bifur said and reached for the vial of oil carelessly thrown on the bed.  
  
“-not _really_ necessary,” Ori said and squirmed between them.

  
  
-

 

“Oh, oh, oh.” Ori was making soft little sounds each time Bifur rocked his hips; his breath hot against Thorin’s neck, and Thorin might have done the same if he’d actually had any breath to spare.   
  
All three of them were all but dripping with sweat, and pretty soon they’d, Ori in particular, would be dripping with more than that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, tomorrow someone is getting fucked by a fucking-machine. Any suggestions?


	10. Day Ten - Fucking machine - Bifur/Kíli/Dori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised to a certain honey bunny, this was written in bed.

Kíli hadn’t really liked the thought of it at first. Too… strange. Impersonal. What was wrong with the normal kind of fucking anyway? (Was normal the right word to use when there was three people in bed and not two? Did Kíli even care? Questionable. As was the idea of a fucking machine.)  
  
“Is this what you old people get up to when you can’t actually get it up?” he’d teased Dori, just to watch him sputter. Bifur hadn’t sputtered, instead he’d dragged them both to bed to prove to Kíli that if anyone was old it wouldn’t hold them back from liquefying all of Kíli’s bones. Twice.  
  
Still, a _fucking machine_? Just the name was enough to make Kíli snicker, and while laughter in bed was brilliant, he wasn’t sure if manic giggling belonged to that category. But it wasn’t his fault that the thing even looked ridiculous.  
  
“It’s a metal stick with a dildo on it,” Kíli said, lips twitching. “And some discarded parts from the Terminator set. Or maybe The Matrix. Oh, those things had tentacles didn’t they?”  
  
“You know very well that they had,” Dori said and pulled Kíli down into his lap. “You spent half that film giggling in my ear about it. But The Matrix is actually a deeply philosophical film about-“  
  
“Help?” Kíli said, looking at Bifur. “I was promised- Dori, give me back my right hand, I can’t sign with just one- I was promised sex, lots of it, not a lecture.”  
  
“That’s not a sign for lecture,” Dori pointed out, shaking his head.  
  
Kíli turned big, brown pleading eyes at Bifur. “He’s doing it _again_.”  
  
Bifur laughed, in his typical almost soundless way, and then began to undress, thus managing to distract both his lovers.  
  
Kíli, wearing only boxers and a stray sock, absently ground his arse against Dori’s firming erection and leaned back into the sturdy embrace.  
  
“All I’m saying-“ Kíli licked his lips. “Is that I’ve got two lovers, with a lovely cock each, and I’m not sure why this additional plastic one is needed.”  
  
-  
  
“I take everything back,” Kíli moaned as the click of a button made the plastic dick begin to vibrate inside of him. And okay, fine, he’d not exactly been complaining before.  
  
The thing was relentless; thrusting and thrusting and thrusting and a maddening steady pace, and Bifur had of course made sure that it managed to nudge Kíli’s prostate on each slide in, and out, and in and- and _then_ it’d started buzzing and now it felt as if every last inch of Kíli’s skin was buzzing too.  
  
His untouched cock was drooling pre-come down into the bed, something Dori had expressed his discontent with and suggested that the next time Kíli might be on his back, please and thank you and waste not want not.

Bifur grinned at him and leaned down to kiss Kíli’s nose and after he’d pulled back he lightly ran his finger in a circle over Kíli’s face. _Beautiful_.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got home late, so peeps, answering comments left on the last chapter tomorrow  
> and any for this one too of course (did you like this trio too?)
> 
> Not gonna tell you tomorrow's prompt, but which character is missing in your life right now?


	11. Day Nine - Intercrural sex - Bilbo/Fíli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fem!Bilbo just FYI.  
> And lots of talking /o\

“We can’t,” Bilbo hissed. Letting Fíli undo the laces of her trousers was a _bad_ idea. A terrible, wonderful, entirely inconvenient idea. “I can’t be a burglar if I’m with _child_.”  
  
Fíli blinked. “Love, no one gets with child on the first try. It takes years. And it’s not even-”  
  
“For _Dwarfs_ maybe. But how many Hobbits have you tried to tumble before?” Bilbo frowned. “Blast, I just made myself jealous. No tumbling anyone but me. Hobbits or otherwise.”  
  
“Bilbo, love, sweetheart, I’m confused.”  
  
He looked confused too, where he was stretched out above her, confused and a bit despondent. Like a puppy being denied a treat. A big, fluffy golden puppy with the biggest, bluest eyes and- _concentrate_.  
  
“If you, and pardon me being blunt here, stick your cock inside of me and does what comes naturally, I might very well get with child.”  
  
Fíli still looked a little blank and Bilbo sighed and reached up to rub her thumb over one plush bottom lip, one of the few things about Fíli that was round and soft. “My parents were very unusual in that they only had me. My mother was one of twelve siblings. Father was one out of five. Draw your own conclusions from this.”  
  
Fíli’s eyes grew wide. “ _Twelve_? And you could- just from the once?”  
  
“Just from the once.” Bilbo snorted. “Though not twelve in one go mind you.”  
  
Looking more than a little shocked, eyes slightly glazed over, Fíli rolled over to lie on his back, making the bulge at the crotch of his trousers all that more obvious.  
  
Bilbo tried not to stare.  
  
“Twelve,” he murmured, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
“Indeed,” Bilbo agreed with a sigh. “So while I would like to, we can’t.”  
  
Fíli was silent for a few seconds. “There are other things we could do.”  
  
-  
  
“I’m telling you now,” Bilbo warned. “If I get with child you’re the one explaining to your uncle just whose fault it is.” They’d moved, undressed, and Bilbo was now lying on her side, Fíli spooned up behind her. His cock was resting between Bilbo’s thighs, the head of it peeking out, resting just at her pearl, and so _terribly_ close to the place where she wanted him the most.  
  
“Just keep your legs pressed together,” Fíli said. “And it’ll work just fine.” His hips rocked forward, cock rubbing over the spot that made Bilbo shudder and moan, and Fíli stroked his left hand over Bilbo’s stomach and up to cup one breast. “Mahal, you’re so wet already. You’re going to soak me aren’t you?”  
  
“Just don’t, inside,” Bilbo said and pressed her thighs together tighter. They kept wanting to relax and spread wide, and nope, that was not going to happen.  
  
“Not inside,” Fíli agreed. “But I’ll help make such a lovely mess here between your thighs. You’ll be shiny from us both. And then I’ll lick you clean.”  
  
 _Other things to do indeed_ , Bilbo mused and pressed her thighs together tighter still.  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe, tomorrow: Legolas and Gimli and the prompt 'Chastity device'  
> I'm going to write it now because I'm basically not going to be home tomorrow, but posted tomorrow morning.


	12. Day Twelve - Chastity devices - Gimli/Legolas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol silliness warning I think

It was embarrassing. Ridiculous. Stupid. It was his father’s one condition for allowing Gimli to stay in Mirkwood with them instead of sending him onwards to Erebor.

Pointing out that they were both adults hadn’t helped. Pointing out that they had both helped to ensure the destruction of the wrong ring hadn’t help. King Thranduil would not be swayed.

“I’m not sure which part of this is the most upsetting,” Gimli said and tilted his head.  
  
“That we can’t have each other until we leave?” Legolas said morosely. “Or that thinking about my father thinking about us being together is enough to potentially make me never want to get aroused ever again.”  
  
“Does your father not realise that we’ve shared a bedroll for many months? Literally and otherwise. If there’s something we’ve not done already it’s not for a lack of imagination or trying.”  
  
“I’m not going to ask him his reasons,” Legolas said and glared down at the innocent looking little silver constructions resting on the table. “Or tell him what you just said. He’s being quite ridiculous as it is.”  
  
“We can assure him that we’re wearing them, and that we’ll not take them off, and then just not wear them.”  
  
“He’ll know,” Legolas said and sighed. “He always knows things that he’s not supposed to. I wouldn’t have put it past him to have put a spell of some sort on them.” He reached out and rested a hand on Gimli’s shoulder. “We can leave and go to Erebor, if you wish it.”  
  
“No,” Gimli said and covered Legolas hand with his own. “This is your home. You wanted to show it to me, and we’ll stay as long as you’d like. But before we put these on I say we go find your father’s bed and I shag you on it. Thoroughly.”  
  
Legolas snorted. “I think not, and if you never wish to see me naked again you’ll keep suggesting things like that.”  
  
-  
  
It had just been intended as a kiss goodnight, but before Legolas quite knew what had happened he found himself straddling Gimli’s thick waist, his head and back bend at an uncomfortable angle to be able to keep kissing his Dwarf, and Gimli’s hands gripped Legolas own waist tightly enough that there might be bruises.  
  
The thought made something inside Legolas’ chest purr happily. To be able to bear Gimli’s marks, he’d bleed beneath his skin willingly.  
  
It was not until his cock swelled enough to cause discomfort that Legolas remembered the little silver cages of _evil_ that both he and Gimli wore around their members.  
  
Breathing heavily Legolas straightened back up, his hands pressed to Gimli’s chest, fingers curling in rust-coloured chest hair.  
  
“No, keep going,” Gimli murmured, and a grimace crossed his face. “Perhaps once I’m entirely erect this accursed thing will not be able to keep me trapped.”  
  
“You aim to break silver with your cock?” Legolas asked, one eyebrow rising towards his hairline.  
  
“I aim to try,” Gimli muttered.


	13. Day Thirteen - Gags - Dwalin/Bofur/Nori

“Shhh,” Nori whispered as he brushed few messy strand of Bofur’s hair away from his forehead. “They’ll all want what you’re having if they hear those delicious moans of yours. And I don’t want a line to start.”  
  
Dwalin snorted. “Just kiss him, that’ll keep you both quiet.”  
  
“ _Shhh_ ,” Nori repeated , this time to Dwalin. “As we all have family members within hearing distance I’d rather not give them anything to listen to.”

Softly spoken words and the low smack of skin against skin and the slick sound of fucking would not carry outside their room, but moaning might. Groaning too. Or if Bofur started shouting like he’d done in Rivendell…  
  
This time Dori might actually get concerned enough about Ori’s innocent ears to interrupt them. Nori did _not_ want to get interrupted now when they’d managed to be alone together for the first time in months.  
  
Lake-town was far from perfect, but Nori had never liked humans more than he currently did because their beds were _huge_.

“I can- oh, be quiet,” Bofur promised, and he then immediately used his next breath to make a liar of himself as a string of curses fell from his lips as Dwalin began to fuck into him at a slightly quicker pace.  
  
Bofur was on his hands and knees, Dwalin behind him and Nori in front of him, and Nori leaned in to kiss him, trying not to smile when Bofur moaned into the kiss.   
  
“You can’t,” Nori said, with amused exasperation and not an insignificant amount of fondness.  
  
“Give him your cock to suck,” Dwalin suggested, but Bofur shook his head.  
  
“No, want you, I- fuck me, once Dwalin has...”  
  
“Once Dwalin is dripping down your thighs?” Nori proposed and hurriedly leaned in for another kiss as Bofur groaned a little too loudly. “Shh, or I’ll need to find something to gag you with.”  
  
Bofur groaned again, even louder than before and Nori pulled back. “You, like that idea?”  
  
“Apparently so,” Bofur said hoarsely. He looked up, and Nori could _see_ him try and focus, but the next thrust of Dwalin hips replaced most of the awareness with dazed pleasure, and green eyes glazed over once more.  
  
Innovation under pressure had always been something Nori exceled at, and he quickly climbed down from the bed to collect one of the shirts they’d been offered which no one had yet to wear.  
  
A little creative folding, rolling and knotting later and Nori was back on the bed, gently securing the makeshift gag around Bofur’s face.

“This will help,” he said and stroked his fingers over flushed cheeks, down to trace over red lips spread wide around a ball of knotted up fabric. “Try and stay as quiet as you can and this will help you. And now Dwalin can fuck you as much as you want and when he’s done I’ll fuck you, and you’ll be such a wonderful wrecked mess when we’re done.”  
  
Bofur’s reply was muffled, but definitely pleased sounding.


	14. Day Fourteen - Genderbend - Bombur/Dwalin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always fem!Bombur and fem!Dwalin. And fem!everyone else just for the heck of it (even though that's not mentioned much). Genderbending isn't really a kink as much as it's fun, so this is alternatively with the kink BOOBIES
> 
> (and again with the silliness warning)

They’d all seen each other in various states of undress. Even the Hobbit had eventually realised that being shy was more trouble than it was worth. But despite having a good idea of what Bombur looked like naked, Dwalin still had to pick her jaw up from one of the many wooden floors in Lake-town..  
  
The dress was too long, but it was a rich emerald green that made Bombur’s hair glow like spun copper. And even though the skirt trailed the floor the bodice… well, too much fabric was _not_ a problem there.

“I’m not sure why the burglar and I were the only ones given dresses,” Bombur muttered as she tried to hike the neckline up a little.  
  
Dwalin’s gaze fell to the two _very_ obvious reasons why even a people known for their bravery instead of their intellectual pursuits would recognize Bombur as a female even despite her lovely facial hair.  
  
“Really?” Bombur asked, and Dwalin felt her cheeks flush as she realised she’d been rather obvious of her admiration. “But they didn’t put Dori in a dress, and I’m not even sure how she keeps from falling over when she leans the tiniest bit forward.”  
  
“Dori-“ Dwalin shook her head. “No, I’m not going to discuss this.”   
  
Explaining how Dori’s breasts were not as eye-catching, (nor as mouth-watering) no thank you. That was unlikely to lead to anything good.  
  
Bombur glanced down at her cleavage. “Fair enough.” She met Dwalin’s eyes and smiled at her. “You look very nice though.”  
  
Dwalin shrugged. “It’s clothes.” They were clean and dry and whole. But what Bombur was wearing, that was… well, amazing. And would look just as amazing on the floor. Or hanging off a lamp even, even with the increased fire hazard.  
  
“Clothes indeed,” Bombur agreed, and Dwalin desperately began to search for something else to add to the conversation. Something to say. Anything, before she blurted out something about wanting to bury her face in Bombur’s chest.  
  
Of course that plan went awry later that night anyway.  
  
-  
  
Say what you wanted about the Men of Lake-town, but living in such a miserable place apparently made a convincing argument as for why very strong liquor was needed.  
  
“Bombur,” Dwalin said, as polite as you may please except for the slight slur to her words. “It would be an _absholute_ honour, if I could feel your tits.”  
  
Bombur tilted her head. “What, these?” She gestured down at herself, ending her words with a bit of a hiccup, and Dwalin nodded eagerly, if briefly, as the sudden movement made her feel a little dizzy.  
  
“Please?” Balin always said it helped to be polite, and saying please was polite.  
  
“Sure,” Bombur shrugged, the movement making her breasts bounce slightly, and Dwalin just barely refrained from clapping her hands in delight. Instead she leaned in to press a smacking kiss to Bombur’s lips.  
  
“Thank you,” she murmured as she slowly moved her hands up to gently squeeze Bombur’s ample chest. Perfection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOBIES *nods*


	15. Chapter Fifteen - Getting caught having sex - Dís/Tauriel

They’d been leaving the yearly feast that was held to celebrate Erebor being reclaimed when Tauriel had taken her hand and tugged her away from the main hallway. Trusting her lover Dís had followed without protest, but while she’d expected to share a few kisses and a grope, she hadn’t really expected to be lifted up to sit next to a bronze statue of some king or famous hero (Dís hadn’t really been paying attention) and staring down at Tauriel as she sank to her knees and crawled beneath Dís’ multitude of skirts.  
  
“Are you serious?” Dís had whispered, shivering as Tauriel nudged her nose up against her smallclothes. “What if someone walks by?”  
  
“They won’t notice us in the shadows,” Tauriel had murmured, her breath hot against the inside of Dís’ thigh. “Not if you can be quiet enough, my princess.”  
  
Now that was a challenge if Dís had ever heard one.  
  
-  
  
“Mmm,” Tauriel sighed as she flicked her tongue against Dís’ pearl, and Dís sank her teeth into the inside of her cheek to keep from moaning out loud.  
  
Tauriel’s tongue was far too clever, and Dís was beginning to think that walking to the quarters would also be best done without anyone seeing them. There was a pretty good chance that she’d have a very obvious wet spot on the back of her gown.  
  
She could feel every beat of her heart as a second pulse between her legs, and she wouldn’t have been surprised if each throb had meant a gush of wetness spilled forth from inside of her.  
  
The curls between her legs felt close to dripping, and Tauriel kept making low, happy, hungry noises as she licked her way inside Dís’ folds.  
  
 _Mahal_. What Dís wouldn’t do to see her lover’s face, her bare chin glistening and the smug tilt of her eyes and mouth.  
  
Her hands scrambled over the fabric of her skirts, seeking silky red hair but it was a hopeless endeavour. Instead Dís braced herself again, managing to get one foot up on the little ledge, to spread herself wider beneath the cover of her dress.  
  
“Mmm,” Tauriel murmured as she gently let her teeth come into play.  
  
Just when Dís was about ask for Tauriel to _please_ put something inside of her, a delicate finger pushed between her outer lips, sliding easily all the way inside.  
  
It was quickly joined by a companion, both curling, and Dís stared up at the dark ceiling and mouthed all the curses that she couldn’t allow herself to utter at the moment. Inventing a few more as Tauriel begin to suck.  
  
The fingers teased more than they satisfied but it was still no better when Tauriel withdrew them.  
  
Bracing herself for more of her lover’s wicked tongue Dís was not at all prepared for Tauriel to sink three fingers back into her, vigorously rubbing her thumb over her pearl.  
  
She was still shuddering in the aftermath of her climax when:  
  
“MUM!”  
  
“Ah, my eyes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Latex/Leather tomorrow and I would like to know, latex or leather? (I'm more of a leather person myself tbh.)  
> And for which characters?


	16. Day Sixteen - Leather - Thorin/Balin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (kinda ended up as something not leather focused exactly, but hey, there's leather)
> 
> Is this the first time I've done this pairing? I think it might be. And it's all thanks to certain suggestions on the last bit ^^ thank youuuus

It wasn’t the act of taking off his clothes, but rather the act of being undressed. And it wasn’t being naked, or exposed, as much as it was being revealed.  
  
It wasn’t wearing a collar, or being owned.   
  
No, it was entirely about being _Balin’s_.   
  
Outside Balin’s chambers Thorin belonged to everyone. To his kin his people. He was King, Uncle, Brother, Friend.   
  
Stretched out with his head pillowed on Balin’s thigh he was just Thorin. Never more, never less.  
  
The cuffs fit closely around his wrists, not too tight, nothing that would cut off his circulation, but just after putting them on Thorin was always acutely aware that he was wearing them.

The collar was the opposite. When he wasn’t wearing it, it was always missing.

They were a matched set, and Thorin had no idea where Balin had even found someone skilled enough to dye leather that rich shade of blue, never mind how much he had to have paid.  
  
Balin’s hand carded through Thorin’s hair, free of all braids, beads and clasps, and Thorin took deep, even breaths, half in a doze, lulled to sleep by the rise and fall of Balin’s voice as he read out loud from whatever book he was currently studying.   
  
“-thinking a bath might be nice. Though to be quite honest I don’t know if I’ve the patience to wait for the tub to fill.”  
  
Thorin’s eyes blinked open. That did not sound like one of the volumes of history Balin usually preferred.  
  
“Finally started to listen to me again, did you?” Balin asked, and Thorin languidly rolled over until he could look up at Balin, head now resting in Balin’s lap.   
  
“My apologies,” Thorin murmured, eyes heavy lidded still. The fond, warm smile bestowed on him felt as if a blanket lined with rabbit-fur had been wrapped around his shoulders.  
  
“No, the book was quite dry,” Balin admitted. “Never trust anyone who makes war sound boring. Take all the blood of it and you only fool yourself.” He gently ran his fingers down Thorin’s cheek, along his beard and then over the edge of the collar.  
  
Thorin tilted his head slightly to the side, baring more of his neck. “Is it not preferable to the ones writing about war like there’s only glory?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Balin mused. “I would say it’s possible to do more harm with cold calculation than with passion.”  
  
“Speaking about passion,” Thorin remarked and rubbed his cheek against Balin’s firming length. “Would it be the talk about baths or war that brought this on?”  
  
Balin chuckled. “Definitely baths I would think. Not the vision of love and beauty gazing up at me with dark eyes while lying unclothed in my bed.”  
  
“Then I will wait here while you call for someone to start bringing up buckets.”  
  
Thorin smiled, bracing himself slightly as Balin laughed hard enough to make them both shake.  
  
Belonging to Balin didn’t mean that Thorin lost something. It meant that he gained everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorin's headspace is one of my favourite places to be.


	17. Day Seventeen - Masturbation - Bofur/Nori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt I think I'm the least happy with from the last set of prompts was Masturbation.  
> So here it is again, hoping it will go better.
> 
> Picks up where the last one left off: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1983597/chapters/4339140

Bofur had to keep swallowing to keep from drooling.  
  
Nori had said that it was rude to stare, but was it rude to offer to help out? Maybe with his mouth? Preferably on Nori’s cock, but hey, if Nori wanted it somewhere else Bofur wouldn’t mind. They’d all gotten a good wash in the river earlier that day.  
  
At the time Bofur hadn’t really noticed- all right, fine. He’d noticed Nori. Noticed the thick locks of red hair, the even brighter curls decorating Nori’s body and groin, the strong, compact body, and yeah, his cock. But he’d been fine pretending _not_ to notice!  
  
Now though, seated opposite Nori while he was in the middle of a leisurely wank… it would take an Orc crashing through the roof to tear Bofur’s attention away.  
  
He must have made a sound, because Nori’s eyes slid open and a small smirk touched his lips.  
  
“Forget how to do it?” His gaze moved down. “At least you’re off to a good start. Perhaps movement would be something you’d care to try?”  
  
Bofur’s cock twitched at Nori’s attention, and he tightened his hand ‘round the base of it. He was embarrassingly close already, and he hadn’t even begun to really touch himself. Moving his hand would be a _bad_ idea. A wonderfully bad idea.  
  
Nori had no issues touching himself though. Which might just be the reason behind Bofur’s issues. Maybe. Yeah.  
  
The red-head looked… he-  
  
Bofur rather thought that someone sitting down on the floor; trousers open, cock out, that person should by all rights look ridiculous. He was fairly confident that he himself looked ridiculous. But Nori… Yeah.  
  
Nori’s cock was long but not particularly thick, and his fist curled comfortably around it. He moved his hand with the same grace he did everything, hips occasionally moving in counterpoint.  
  
When Nori removed his hand Bofur almost protested, but all Nori did was lifting his hand to his mouth, spitting, and then wrapping it around himself again. That should _not_ be that hot. Spit should not make Bofur’s cock jump.  
  
And speaking about Bofur’s cock, it definitely did not require any additional lubrication. Pearls of pre-come kept leaking from the tip of it, slowly trailing down in a maddening slide, but still Bofur didn’t stroke himself. If he did it would be all over. And Bofur never wanted his to be over, even though the loft smelled like sheep and there was pieces of hay poking his bare arse.  
  
But eventually he couldn’t resist anymore and the first slow stroke made his toes curl inside his boots and he inhaled shakily.  
  
“Good,” Nori said, and Bofur’s eyes blinked open (when had he closed them?). “You figured out how it’s done.” He gazed at Bofur with dark, half-lidded eyes and Bofur only remembered that breathing was something that should be happening when he started feeling a bit dizzy.  
  
Bollocks to it all , he usually didn’t get this way over a pretty face and a pretty cock.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which characters should play doctor together tomorrow?


	18. Day Eighteen - Doctor Kink - Óin/Dwalin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely the first time for me with this pairing, first one for AO3? (YUP!)
> 
> Set pre-canon, in some sort of time period that makes sense *nods*

“And what did you do to yourself this time, lad?” Óin narrowed his eyes at Dwalin, who did look a little guilty. Even his mohawk seemed to droop slightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to overexert yourself in training?”  
  
Dwalin shrugged, then winced. “Didn’t mean to.”  
  
Óin snorted and gestured at him to sit down on the cot as he walked across the room to collect the ointment used for sore muscles. “It’s the shoulder I take it. Do you need help taking off your shirt?”  
  
Turned away from Dwalin as he was, Óin missed seeing two spots of colour appearing on Dwalin’s cheeks.  
  
“I can manage,” Dwalin said, just a tad too roughly.  
  
“And that’s a yes,” Óin sighed, misinterpreting it as pain. “Sit down, don’t move.”  
  
The healer frowned as he turned back and noticed that Dwalin had done just that. It wasn’t like him to docilely do anything he was ordered. “You in bad pain, lad?”  
  
This time when Dwalin blushed, Óin had no trouble seeing it. Though he didn’t understand.  
  
Was Dwalin embarrassed about getting hurt? Had someone finally bested him at hand-to-hand or wrestling and that was how he’d gotten hurt? Couldn’t be Thorin, or the prince would be with them, grinning smugly while pretending he wasn’t hovering because he felt guilty.  
  
“I’m-“ Dwalin hesitated. “Fine.”  
  
“Do I need to cut the shirt off you?” Óin asked, and new splotches of red appeared on Dwalin’s cheeks. But he shook his head. “Arms up then.”  
  
Without a word Dwalin raised his arms, and Óin gripped the hem of the thin tunic and gently pulled it up and over his head.  
  
No gaping wounds were bared, and the neither of the shoulders appeared to be dislocated. The blush had spread all the way down to Dwalin’s chest though and Óin tilted his head in confusion before deciding to ignore it.  
  
“Let’s get you sorted out then.”  
  
-  
  
Dwalin moaned quietly into his pillow and rubbed his cock down against his mattress.  
  
Maybe- could he- what if he’d told Óin exactly where it hurt the most? Pointed down at his crotch and asked if there was something that would make the swelling go away?

Would Óin have been appalled? Shocked? Or-  
  
 _‘Let’s get you sorted out then.’_  
  
Dwalin shuddered. Óin’s hands felt amazing enough on his shoulders and arms, to have him rubbing far more sensitive places… That would…  
  
Rolling over onto his back, wincing slightly as it pulled on his shoulder (which he’d actually hurt, but perhaps not enough to warrant a visit to the healer), Dwalin pulled his knees up towards his chest and reached down to rub just beneath his stones.  
  
He slowly moved further and further down until he was rubbing the tip of one broad finger over his hole.  
  
Óin probably had an ointment to use for that sort of thing too.  
  
‘ _Let me know if it hurts.’_  
  
Dwalin bit down on a moan as he sank his finger in to the first knuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a newly discovered fondness for young!Dwalin with a crush on handsome, older, physician Óin.  
> lol, I love when I write something that makes me learn something new about my tastes.
> 
> Participation time:  
> Sunday prompt I've not got a pairing for yet.  
> Which characters would like a bit of pain play? Nori immediately springs to mind, but can we do better?
> 
> And if you're feeling that you've got imagination to spare, who should I pair Dáin with for another thing?


	19. Day Nineteen - Nipple Play - Ori/Kíli

Calling it an obsession would be… not that far from the truth.  
  
But Kíli dared _anyone_ to look at Ori’s chest and not want to kiss, rub and pinch his pretty pink nipples until they pebbled up and got sensitive enough that just breathing on them made Ori shudder. On one occasion, one that Kíli would treasure until he went to Mahal’s halls, he’d managed to get Ori to come just by playing with his little nubs.

…On second thought, no one but him should _ever_ look at Ori’s chest. They could just go and find their own Ori. Not that there were more, but that wasn’t Kíli’s problem.  
  
Even when Ori was fully dressed Kíli often felt his attention go to his lover’s chest. Because he knew what was underneath all those layers of clothes.  
  
Oh, but the best thing, well, one of the best things, was when Ori just wore a thin undershirt, and you could see his nipples beneath the fabric. And the vague outline of the silver hoop that pierced the left one.  
  
There weren’t words to describe how much Kíli loved that hoop. It was ridiculously pretty, which made it a good match for its owner, and shiny, and gorgeous and just- Kíli loved it.  
  
Not as much as he loved Ori of course, but still enough to almost be unreasonable.  
  
Another thing that made Kíli suspect that their maker had made Ori all for him to enjoy was that Ori’s chest was mouth-wateringly plump.  
  
He didn’t have the hard mucle of someone having trained with an axe, sword of bow, or the bulky chest of a miner or smith. Instead Ori had the pale skin of a scholar, sprinkled generously with reddish-blond tufts of hair, and he had a distinct roundness to both his stomach and his chest that none of Kíli’s other lovers had been gifted with.  
  
It wasn’t anything close to what someone like Bombur had, nor was there even enough for a handful, but for a mouthful… for a mouthful it was _perfect_.

-  
  
Ori groaned and clutched at Kíli’s head as the dark-haired Dwarf lapped tirelessly at Ori’s right nipple.  
  
At the same time he worked his hand up and down Ori’s weeping cockstand, causing his lover to squirm beneath him.  
  
Leaning in closer Kíli pressed his mouth to Ori’s little tit in wet kiss, sucking the nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it before gently, very gently scraping it with his teeth.  
  
“Kíli,” Ori moaned, and the sheer need in his voice made Kíli groan and grind his own erection against Ori’s thigh. “I want- I want-“  
  
“Yeah?” Kíli breathed, switching to roll the reddened nipple between his thumb and index finger as he leaned over to run his tongue delicately over the silver ring in the other. “Tell me.”  
  
But Ori didn’t tell him, instead he pushed at Kíli’s shoulders and tackled him down on the bed, pressing their mouths together in a click of teeth.


	20. Day Twenty - Fisting - Bofur/Fíli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, if you're squeamish about fisting, there's very little fisting in this. Just talking about it. Um, yay?
> 
> If you're totally into fisting, sorry, there's very little fisting in this. Just talking about it. Um, boo?

Eventually Fíli did realise that he might unintentionally have been acting like an utter dick.  
  
"I'm sorry," Fíli said and wrapped himself around his lover where he was standing at the sink, doing the dishes. "I'll stop asking. I didn't mean to-"  
  
"Repeatedly ask me to shove my hand up your arse?" Bofur asked, turning to press a kiss to Fíli's jaw.   
  
"Didn't mean to nag you about it," Fíli said and rubbed his bearded cheek against Bofur’s. "If you don't want to you don't want to. That’s cool.”  
  
"To be fair I've never actually said the word no" Bofur sighed and rinsed a plate. "Or that I don't want to. Doesn't mean I think it's a good idea."  
  
"Then we won't do it," Fíli promised, squeezing his arms around Bofur’s waist. “There’s plenty of other new and exciting things to do.” He waggled his eyebrows, even though Bofur couldn’t see them. “We could start by you doing me?”  
  
Bofur snorted. “Not at all a complaint, but we’ve done that before. Repeatedly.”  
  
“Not while I was wearing stockings and a garter belt we have.”  
  
Snickering Fíli leaned in to press a kiss to Bofur’s slack mouth, before disappearing towards the bedroom. “Give me twenty minutes!”  
  
-  
  
 _Three months later._    
  
-  
  
"What if you try it on me first?   
  
Fíli blinked in confusion as they’d been talking about vacation plans. “What?”  
  
Bofur squirmed a bit on his chair. “Your hand, up, erm, my bum.”  
  
“How on earth do you get from discussing hotels to _that_?”  
  
Bofur had seemed a bit distracted, but Fíli had assumed it’d been from not particularly caring where they stayed as long as there was four walls, a roof and a bed.  
  
“Um,” Bofur looked away. “Never mind. What were you saying about hotels?”  
  
“No, no,” Fíli protested. “That bit can wait. Do you- it’s- there’s a reason why I’m usually the one having a cock up his arse, and that’s because I like it hell of a lot more than you. And now you want a hand up yours?” Fíli held up his hand and made a fist. “That’s not a good idea.”  
  
Bofur held up his own hand, easily as big as Fíli’s. “And this is?”  
  
“Yes,” Fíli nodded. “I think I’ll like it, but if you don’t-“  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Bofur blurted.  
  
“And you think me hurting you is better?” Fíli reached over the table and twined their fingers together. “ _Moron_. And it’s not supposed to hurt. It’s supposed to be good.” Fíli brushed his thumb over the back of Bofur’s hand. “We’d go slow, and there’d be lots  of lube, and trust me, by the time you’ve got four fingers all snug inside of me I’d be _begging_ for more.”  
  
The hint of a blush rose to Bofur’s cheeks and his fingers tightened around Fíli’s.  
  
“You can suck me off first too,” Fíli murmured. “Get me all relaxed and limp and panting for you. Your thumb will slide right inside.”  
  
“I- okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One third left.  
> Are you tired of smutty prompts by now, or should I try and find thirty more?


	21. Day Twenty-one - Painplay - Óin/Bifur

It wasn’t really about pain at all. Pain was just another sensation. Get almost anyone worked up, pinch a nipple, and it wasn’t pain that they’d feel.  
  
Pull on their hair, bite their neck, dig your fingers a little too hard into their hips... it wasn’t pain that made them moan and writhe beneath you.  
  
The trick was to know where the lines were even when your lovers forgot. So you could remember to say no when they asked for ‘more’ and ‘harder’ when they were already at that line.  
  
But with someone like Bifur... that was a challenge greater than with most.  
  
Óin had hesitated before agreeing to bed him. Because while he was certainly handsome enough, polite as they’d come, and while he had sought Óin out specifically because he’d learnt what sort of things Óin enjoyed in bed, Bifur had not been able to even _hint_ about where his lines were drawn, what he wouldn’t enjoy having done to him.  
  
Being told that there wasn’t really anything that Bifur didn’t think he’d like… that was a big responsibility to be given, one that Óin wasn’t sure that he wanted.  
  
What made Óin finally agree was partially the selfish reason of wanting Bifur in his bed, dark eyes hazy with pleasure, and partially because he was afraid that if he said no, Bifur would find someone else, someone who'd see Bifur’s lack of boundaries as permission to do whatever they pleased with him.  
  
Just like it wasn’t really about pain it also wasn’t really about _Óin’s_ pleasure either.  
  
His pleasure was seeing his lovers lose themselves, and then helping them find their way back.  
  
Putting back people together he had enough of in his clinic, and for him there wasn’t any pleasure to be found in breaking beautiful things.  
   
-  
  
Óin pumped two fingers into Bifur, the digits coated in just enough oil not to cause damage, but not enough that it didn’t burn just a little. Sinking them in to the last knuckle caused Bifur to clench around him, and Óin pulled his fingers out to watch the pink hole flutter, clearly missing the thickness that had filled it up.  
  
Bifur groaned, loud and clear, his head bowed down towards the bed, powerful shoulders already trembling slightly, and Óin chuckled before prodding him with his thumb, nail teasing the sensitive skin.  
  
He pushed his thumb in to the second knuckle, searching, and when Bifur groaned and shuddered Óin grinned and continued to rub at the spot he'd found.

Reaching underneath Bifur, Óin wrapped his free hand around his lover’s stones, giving them a good squeeze and tugging slightly to stop him from getting carried away much too soon.  
  
He kept working his thumb over Bifur’s spot until Bifur’s thighs were trembling, then he stopped.  
  
The sharp slap with the flat of his palm made Bifur jump, and Óin smacked him again, and again, before taking a moment to admire the pink marks beginning to surface on his arse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And when they were done there were much cuddling *nods*  
> Don't forget the cuddling, people.


	22. Day Twenty-two - Anonymous sex   - Fíli/Kíli/Tauriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the technical term is "kinda" anonymous.

She didn’t know their names, and they didn’t know hers, and now they were going to fuck. Or so Tauriel assumed and _hoped_ , because they’d certainly gotten close to third base already on the dance floor, and the reason for why her knickers were wet wasn’t because she’d peed herself.  
  
She’d been honestly worried she’d leave a stain on the seat of the taxi, even if it had been a little difficult to concentrate on anything other than the two big hands stroking slowly up and down her thighs, and the two lovely mouths being offered for her to kiss as she pleased.  
  
“Shhh,” Tauriel whispered as she unlocked the door. “My roommate will be sleeping, we need to be quiet or we’ll wake him.”  
  
No need to tell them Legolas wasn’t actually home. Just in case they weren’t as nice as they looked.  
  
 _But they looked **very** nice,_ Tauriel thought as she smiled over her shoulder at the two, count them, _two_ hot guys she’d met at the club. And brought home. And was going to fuck.  
  
Unless they changed their minds because then she was going to eat the chocolate ice cream Legolas had bought yesterday and get herself off to porn. Possibly at the same time.  
  
One was almost as tall as her and dark-haired, one shorter and blond. Both looking far more delicious than even chocolate ice cream in their tight jeans and tighter T-shirts. So in for a penny, in for a pound. Or two pennies at least.  
  
-  
  
Tauriel arched backwards into the strong arms wrapped around her.  
  
Being eaten out while simultaneously getting fucked was _not_ what she’d been expecting when two guys sauntered up to her at the bar, broad smiles on their pretty faces.  
  
No, what she’d been expecting was that she’d soon find herself in the middle of a tiresome, moronic macho stand-off revolving around the miserable concept of ‘I SAW HER FIRST’.  
  
For the two guys turn wrap their arms around each other and _kiss_ , and not a small peck, no, there had been tongues visible, and then pull apart to give her a stereo come-hither look… come-hither and please play with us, that had been a nice surprise. A _very_ nice surprise.  
  
-  
  
Blondie kept making content tiny half-sighs, half-moans as he lapped, licked and kissed the spot where his friend’s cock disappeared into her. After clothes had been discarded she’d been happy enough to finger herself while watching him deliver a very enthusiastic blowjob, so it was quite possible Blondie had a bit of an oral fixation going on. No complaints what so ever would be forthcoming about that from her.  
  
Nor did it seem as if they’d be coming from his friend, and there was a pun in that sentence, but Tall-Dark-and-Pretty felt entirely too good in _her_ , for her to bother with it.  
  
Tauriel moaned as Blondie licked directly over her clit, and TD&P rubbing his fingers over her nipples promptly brought out a second one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly fond of the idea of Kíli and Fíli going out in places where no one will know or care that they are brothers and just being adorably hot all over each other.  
> And Tauriel, when they find her.


	23. Chapter Twenty-three - Pegging - Dori/Dwalin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fem!Dori

“Having fun?” Dwalin asked, looking back at her over his shoulder.  
  
“Mmm,” Dori agreed with a final squeeze as she slid her hands from Dwalin’s arse around to his front. “Are you comfortable? It’s not too tight is it?”  
  
“It’s fine.”  
  
Dori gently ran her fingers around the leather band wrapped snugly around the base of Dwalin’s cock and balls.  
  
“Just remember that I won’t be able to fuck you if you fuck me until I come.”  
  
“You are a darling,” Dori murmured, leaning in to kiss Dwalin’s shoulder blade. “First I get to take you and then you’ll take me. Such a lovely, lovely man you are.”  
  
Dwalin snorted. “I’m fairly sure you don’t need to flatter when I’m already naked in your bed.”  
  
“Flatter?” Dori made a small noise of displeasure, sliding off the bed to collect her harness. “You wish. Then I’d agree with you that flannel is a style choice and not a wash cloth.”  
  
“Don’t think I don’t know that those buttons you _accidentally_ rip are not really accidents,” Dwalin grumbled, turning his head to keep her in his sight. “Won’t have any shirts soon, which I’m sure you’ll be just gutted to hear.”  
  
“I just don’t know my own strength,” Dori said innocently as she made quick work of straps and buckles, carefully fitting the dildo into place. It wasn’t her favourite, but the glass one was a bit heavy and didn’t vibrate, so it was better suited for other things.

When she looked back up it was to find Dwalin with two fingers up his arse. The angle looked awkward, and Dori quickly climbed back up on the bed to help.  
  
Her cock brushed up against Dwalin’s arse as she knelt behind him, and Dori took a moment to admire the contrast of Dwalin’s skin and the black plastic. Black really looked so much better than the supposedly skin-coloured ones.  
  
Not very long afterwards Dori worked the lube over her cock, making it nice and slippery - not to mention all shiny and pretty - trying to do that while at the same time keeping her fingers moving inside her lover.  
  
“Ready?” she asked, pulling her fingers out and shivering slightly at the slick sound.  
  
Dwalin spread his legs a little wider. “Please sir, I want some more,” he said in as squeaky of a voice he could manage.  
  
Dori snorted. “You’re horrible.”  
  
Keeping Dwalin’s arse spread she gently pressed the tip of the cock against him, prodding until Dwalin cursed at her beneath his breath for being a tease and opened up beautifully for her.  
  
When her hips were pressed all the way up against Dwalin’s arse Dori flicked a button, and both of them shuddered as the pulsing vibration worked its way through them.  
  
She started a steady, rolling rhythm, each thrust pressing the base of the cock up against her clitoris, and hoped that she’d be able to get at least two orgasm in before Dwalin got too close to coming himself.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pets Big Bang story* More Dwalin/fem!Dori to the people 
> 
> *Balin/Dori feels enter the room*
> 
> Dammit why is everyone so cute in this fandom.


	24. Day Twenty-four - Somnophilia - Bilbo/Frerin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up peeps, don't have sex with a sleeping partner unless you've talked with them about boundaries, and never do it if you've argued or something like that before going to bed. Don't even think about actually doing it with someone you don't know.
> 
> Just because you might make them feel good does it mean they have to want it  
> And here endeth the PSA.
> 
> On with the story.

As Bilbo’s alarm went off he yawned and rolled onto his back.  
  
The very next second he was being clung to as if he was an exceptionally cuddly teddy bear, and once Bilbo had tried most everything but physical violence to wake Frerin up he sighed and relaxed into the embrace.  
  
He knew his lover was a very heavy sleeper, and he also knew Frerin’s alarm would shriek in about fifteen minutes anyway. Until then, this might as well be his version of a snooze. He could read today’s paper on the metro.  
  
Except… it got really, erm, _hard_ to fall back asleep once Frerin started moaning and humping him.  
  
-  
  
When Frerin’s alarm finally rang, Bilbo was very turned on, very frustrated, and torn between wanting a cold shower or a shag, even if the latter would likely make him late for work.

Shagging turned out not to be an option anyway as Frerin was asleep again the second his head was back on the pillow after he’d pressed snooze.  
  
Grumbling to himself Bilbo escaped the bed before being captured again.  
  
A cold shower it was.  
  
-  
  
Over dinner Bilbo told Frerin what had happened, and he found it annoyingly hilarious.  
  
“You should have humped me back,” he grinned, stroking his thumb over the back of Bilbo’s hand. “Just don’t leave me lying in the wet spot. If I wake up glued to the sheets we’ll have words. And you’ll owe me three blowjobs.”  
  
Bilbo snorted and Frerin’s grin widened. “No but seriously, go for it. Maybe I’ll wake up if I have an orgasm? That would be a _brilliant_ way of waking up.”  
  
“I’ve been delegated to being an experimental alarm clock,” Bilbo said and shook his head.  
  
“An extremely cute and sexy alarm clock?”  
  
-  
  
Eventually, Bilbo decided that he might as well try it.  
  
For science.  
  
-  
  
To limit the risk of being caught and used for snuggling and/or humping purposes, Bilbo started his experiment by creeping down to lie between Frerin’s legs.  
  
It was a bit weird. Frerin _always_ talked when they made love, but now as Bilbo took his still soft cock into his mouth there was just deep, even breathing.  
  
Once Frerin was fully erect those breaths had taken on a distinctly ragged note, but when Bilbo said his name he still showed no interest in waking up.  
  
Some lube, stretching, and five minutes devoted to Frerin’s nipples (Bilbo never got to play with them as much as he wanted as Frerin always got restless before he was done) later, Bilbo knelt over Frerin’s lap, Frerin’s hard cock nudging up against his hole.  
  
He’d just began to sink down on it when a soft noise made him look up.  
  
“Hmmrmm,” Frerin said, blue eyes just barely open. “I have amazing ideas.”  
  
“Admit this is just you trying to hide how lazy you are,” Bilbo accused as he rocked his hips down.  
  
“ _Amazing_.”  
  
“If you fall asleep again I swear the wet spot is yours.”  
  
“Amazingly amazing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memorable incidents Frerin has slept through  
> \- The time the house across the street caught fire and there were three fire trucks with their sirens on outside  
> \- The time Bilbo literally climbed over him as he desperately needed to use the toilet (stomach bug)  
> \- Time he fell asleep on the bus and ended up in the hospital as the driver thought he'd gone into a coma.
> 
> To sum it up, good going Bilbo for actually waking him! :D


	25. Day Twenty-five - Sensory deprivation - Dáin/Bilbo

Dáin wondered if Bilbo understood just how much trust had been put into his small hands. Probably not, since he’d asked as if it was no big thing. So typical of his Hobbit.   
  
He protested when being given riches and things that were merely his due, flushed more often than not when Dáin called him beautiful, and he walked through life without appearing to notice how astonishing he really was.

This meant that Dáin should not have been surprised that Bilbo would ask him something others would have _never_ dared to ask. His Hobbit had murmured the request against his skin; both of them still slick with sweat from their lovemaking, and then immediately dropped off to sleep.  
  
Sleep had _not_ found Dáin that easily.   
  
Bilbo’s suggestion had left him short of breath and with a cock that tried to make the impossible possible and rise once more that night.  
  
-  
  
Bilbo felt like clapping his hands in glee at the sight in front of him.

Despite what Dáin might think, Bilbo understood _very_ well what it meant for his lover to agree not only to be tied to their bed, but also to be blindfolded, and have wax plugging his ears so he could not hear.   
  
It meant that he trusted Bilbo with his life. He trusted that Bilbo would want to give him pleasure and not slip a dagger between his ribs.

Admittedly though, Bilbo might _not_ have realised right away what exactly he asked of his lover.   
  
He’d been half-asleep when he’d been struck by the idea of having Dáin spread out like a feast for him to enjoy, because while Bilbo loved when those big hands stroked and petting and touched, they were also a huge distraction. And he also rather covetously wanted Dáin to be unable to think of anything but him.  
  
Very gently Bilbo brushed his fingers through the thick mat of hair on Dáin’s stomach, feeling the muscles jump beneath his touch.  
  
-  
  
At the first touch Dáin’s body tried to tense and relax all at once. He inhaled sharply, then breathing out slowly as nimble fingers worked their way up his chest and into his beard.   
  
He couldn’t hear Bilbo move, but he felt the bed dip slightly, then soft lips covered his. Once they went away Dáin groaned and instinctively reached out to try and keep Bilbo closer, or, he tried to. His wrists were strapped quite snugly to the bed.  
  
When Bilbo didn’t immediately touch him again Dáin’s senses tried desperately to figure out where the next touch would be. It felt as if every last inch of skin on his body hummed in the wait for it.  
  
-  
  
Where to start. Or well, continue.  
  
Bilbo’s mouth watered with the possibilities presented. Would it be improper to simply…   
  
.  
  
The bed dipped again, and then the same tongue that had just tangled with his own licked a broad, slick strip up his cock, Bilbo’s lips wrapping around the head in mimicry of their kiss.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't decide if Dáin is king or not in this, so just pick your own adventure.
> 
> Mehehe, I'm very excited about tomorrow's prompt ^^  
> And I'm a tease, because that's all I'm going to say.


	26. Day Twenty-six - Sex at inappropriate location - Dwalin/Nori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:D

It was the terrible idea to end all terrible ideas.   
  
Dwalin was beginning to think that there was some truth to the old saying that there was only enough blood in the male human body to either keep the brain thinking or your dick hard.   
  
It definitely _felt_ like it was part of his brain that was leaking steadily against his boxers.

“We _can’t_ ,” Dwalin hissed even he sat down on the small bench.  
  
“It’s not like anyone is using it now anyway,” Nori whispered back. He glanced around before pulling the curtain shut and sank down on his knees in the fucking _confessional_ Dwalin had followed him into. The priest side, which had to make it even worse.   
  
Dwalin really intended to push Nori’s hands away as they came up to unbutton his belt and jeans, but somehow that hand took a detour and ended up sinking into thick, rust-coloured hair instead.  
  
“That’s not-“   
  
Dwalin groaned as Nori finally touched him. Even through his underwear it felt amazing.   
  
He’d been hard ever since a bored Nori had begun whispering dirty things in his ear.   
  
Dwalin was banning them both from ever going to a church again, ever. The next time Glóin had a kid who he insisted on christening he could bloody well do it in the garden. God was supposed to be everywhere anyway. “Not the damned point.”

“Such language in a church,” Nori said, his expression disapproving for about two seconds until he began to snicker.   
  
It made his green eyes shine, the skin around them crinkling slightly, and he was so gorgeous Dwalin didn’t even know what to do with himself. By that time Nori’s fingers had snuck their way down beneath the last layer of cloth to wrap around Dwalin’s cock, which practically leapt into Nori’s hand foolish thing, and if Glóin _ever_ realised they’d snuck away to do this he’d skin them both and Dwalin didn’t even care anymore.  
  
Nori gave him an appreciative look as Dwalin tried to spread his legs more. “Stand up for a second instead?”  
  
Dwalin did, expecting Nori to pull his trousers down. He’d _not_ expected Nori to lean in and press his face against the open V of his jeans before breathing in deeply.   
  
Dwalin scrambled at the walls of the confessional as a sudden surge of lust made his knees feel unsteady, especially once Nori made a happy little moan and breathed in again. Then he tugged at Dwalin’s trousers and underwear and nudged him to sit back down.  
  
The wooden bench felt cold against Dwalin’s bare skin and he shivered.

“Any sins you want to confess? Besides the obvious of course.” Nori grinned up at him and kept their eyes locked together as he slowly bent his head to lap at the slick drops of pre-come that trickled from the head of Dwalin’s cock. “Or would you like to save that until you can confess that you fucked me up against the wall of a confessional?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've realised I've kinda been a lot about oral lately, lol  
> I'll switch it up for next time ^^
> 
> And I looooove sex-stupid Dwalin being almost literally led around by Nori holding his cock. ^^ So preeeeetty.


	27. Day Twenty-seven - Mirrors - Dori/Balin

“Keep your eyes open,” Balin reminded and Dori chewed his bottom lip and forced his eyelids up once more.  
  
“I’m not the, oh, the one, who keeps making them- _oh_ -“ Dori’s eyelashes fluttered as Balin’s cock nudged that perfect spot yet again. And again, and- and Dori was going to draw blood if he kept biting his lip like that.  
  
“I want you to see how beautiful you are,” Balin murmured, sounding entirely too composed considering that Dori felt as if he was crumbling into pieces.   
  
“I know what- what, I look like.”

Pressing his hand to Dori’s sternum to coax him to lean backwards a little, Balin bent his head and nibbled on the round shell of Dori’s ear, sinking his teeth in slightly, just above the silver cuff.

Dori's hands tightening on the edge of the dresser he was leaning against, the dresser Balin had placed the large mirror on. He hoped he’d secured it properly because if it fell to the floor they were _not_ stopping to clean and he’d rather not explain to Óin exactly how they’d managed to cut their feet.  
  
“You know what you look like dressed in finery and perfectly composed,” Balin said, his voice a caress just as much as the thumb rubbing over a pebbled nipple. “ _That_ , my sweet, is when you usually look in a mirror. And while you are very beautiful like that I still want you to see this.”  
  
Their eyes met in the mirror and Balin smiled fondly. “Your perfect braids unravelling. The flush on your cheeks. The topaz of your eyes darkening to sapphire. There is nothing in this world more lovely than to find you lost in passion.”  
  
“You have not been paying attention to your own reflection then,” Dori said.  
  
Balin made a small amused noise. “I assure you I have, and compared to you I am like the pale moon compared to the sun. Glass next to a diamond. Brass faced with pure gold. Chalk-“  
  
“No need to exaggerate,” Dori protested, glancing away.   
  
Careful fingers cupping his jaw and gently prompting him made him to meet Balin’s eyes again in the mirror. His lover didn’t even speak, but Dori felt a new wave of heat darken his cheeks, and sure enough, when he looked at his own reflection there was a ruddy blush spreading all the way down to his chest. For some reason it made his eyes look bluer, even if they certainly wasn’t anything like sapphire. Balin was a sweetheart and an even sweeter talker.  
  
Balin’s thrusts had faltered a little at the end of their conversation, but now his hips started rolling again. Not quite finding that little spot, but the slick hard slide of him felt incredible even so.  
  
“Don’t close your eyes.”  
  
“Don’t be such an excellent lover,” Dori complained half-heartedly, opening his eyes even though he couldn’t remember closing them. “Because it is really all your fault.”

His lips quirked as Balin’s chest rumbled with quiet laughter.   



	28. Day twenty-eight - Spanking - Glóin/Nori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fem!Nori

Nori squirmed. “Come on and do it already.”  
  
“All in good time,” Glóin said as he slowly ran his hands over the round globes of Nori’s arse. “I’m not likely to forget you’ve been naughty.”  
  
“Yes, _very_ naughty,” Nori purred and wriggled against Glóin’s lap. “All my life, ask anyone. So you better-“  
  
The first smack cut off her words and Glóin hid a smile and let his hand fall down twice more in rapid succession for good measure. Nori’s hips weren’t that much wider than his own, and she fit quite nicely lying across his lap. But her arse were definitely more fleshy, and it jiggled satisfyingly each time he struck it.  
  
“Damn, your hands are big,” Nori breathed. “Again. _Harder_ , I won’t break.”  
  
Glóin rubbed his broad thumb over the pink mark left by his hand and Nori shivered. “Don’t tease.”  
  
“And that’s coming from you?” Glóin’s laugh rumbled in his chest. “I’ve never seen a bigger tease in my life.”  
  
“Hey,” Nori protested. “It’s not teasing unless I don’t plan on delivering. And I always deliver.” She arched her back, pushing her arse back up into Glóin’s palm. “I’m beginning to wonder about you though.”

As he started spanking her again Glóin couldn’t see Nori’s expression; her face was turned away from him, but there was a distinctly pleased quality to the tilt of her head and the way her toes curled spoke volumes. And if he’d had any remaining doubts whether she was enjoying herself, they would have been dismissed by the way she kept lifting up slightly into each slap, then grinding down against his thigh.

Glóin paused for a moment, rubbing the now definitely reddened skin of Nori’s arse and down the back of her thighs.  
  
“Shouldn’t pick fights when you’re lying naked in my lap asking to be spanked.”  
  
Nori snorted. “I pick fights with your cousin when he’s holding his axes. I’d say this is much less hazardous.”

“Fair point,” Glóin agreed, sliding his right hand beneath Nori, between her legs. She cursed he curled two of his fingers so that they rested at her pearl, rubbing lightly. “And I’d propose we keep _my_ axe out of bed as well.”  
  
“There goes that fantasy.” Nori sighed heavily, then snickered and bucked her hips down to rub herself more firmly against his fingers.

Glóin petted her for a while, before bringing his hand to his mouth, licking at the sweet shiny wetness Nori had left on his fingers.  
  
Humming contentedly, he pressed his left hand over Nori’s shoulders as she tried to roll so she could look at him.  
  
“Teasing again,” she protested. “Spank me, or fuck me, but-.”  
  
“How about both?” Glóin suggested.  
  
Nori stilled for a moment. “We could do that.”  
  
-  
  
“Come on, _harder_ ,” Nori moaned as she rolled her hips, sinking down on Glóin’s cock before lifting herself up again. As Glóin’s hand landed sharply on her arse she hissed and arched her back, small breasts rubbing against Glóin’s beard.


	29. Day Twenty-nine - Threesome - Nori/Bilbo/Thorin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fem!thorin and fem!bilbo
> 
> I’ve got a WIP for a longer story with these three and sooner or later I will actually finish it… *sighs*  
> This is kinda of a future!fic to that verse. Because smutty future!fic before the actual fic, yeah that totally makes sense, lol.

Nori held Thorin’s hips firmly to keep her steady as she knelt over his face. The redhead’s chin and beard was smeared with his King’s slick and he rather wished to have two more hands so he could part her folds and delve a little deeper with his tongue _without_ the risk of suffocating himself against her flesh.  
  
As lovely as Thorin tasted he didn’t really want to have her clogging up his nose. Breathing was lovely too, and a little more necessary for living than the taste of Thorin on his tongue. Just a little.  
  
Bilbo would not likely be interested in assisting at the moment. Not that Nori _wanted_ her to climb off his cock; she seemed to have a great deal of fun with it - and it certainly was good for him too, but it was easy to be greedy with two such lovely ladies in bed with him. Both of which likely would object to the word ‘lady’ being applied to them.  
  
Thorin with a disdainful comment about how Kings could not afford to be ladies, and Bilbo saying something about how she was fairly sure ladies did not enjoy getting themselves dirty in the gardens. And no, ladies did not get _that_ kind of dirty either and Nori would do best to remember that the next time he wanted to have her on her back in the grass.  
  
Trying not to snicker Nori speared his tongue as far into Thorin as he could, humming happily when it made her groan. Or was that perhaps because Bilbo had cupped her small hands to Thorin’s breasts, worrying her thumbs over Thorin’s stiff nipples?  
  
Either way, Nori was in favour of anything that made Thorin sound like that. Of the three of them, she was the quietest in bed, probably from having lived in close quarters with Dís and her family for so long. But now that wasn’t an issue at all.  
  
The royal chambers had thick walls, Nori had made sure of it. Not only good for privacy, but it also made it that much harder for anyone trying to spy on them for other reasons than just being a pervert.  
  
Nori let out a muffled curse and bucked his hips upwards when Bilbo shuddered and clenched tightly around him, moaning softly as she did so.  
  
Hobbits were not like Dwarfs in many ways, and in the bedchamber you found quite a few of them.  
  
It was the _third_ time Bilbo had come since she’d begun riding him, and while Nori normally adored the opportunity to turn Bilbo into a shivering puddle of pleasure, having her repeatedly flutter around him like that was going to make _him_ come much too soon. And he wouldn’t be able to spend again until several hours had passed.  
  
Although… if that happened he and Thorin could just help each other to turn Bilbo into the previously mentioned puddle, while saving up their strength for a second round.  
  
The night was long.


	30. Day Thirty - Voyeurism  - Thorin/Dís/Frerin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the final one (for now).

Thorin was fairly sure that a psychoanalyst would have a field day with him, should he ever be inclined to visit one.  
  
An incestuous homosexual relationship with his brother – even though it was entirely consensual - would surely raise eyebrows, and add to that a sister and someone was sure to start a research paper regarding if sexuality was more influenced by nature or nurture, or possibly what horrible things must have happened in their childhoods to make them form such a bond.

To Thorin, none of that was of interest. He knew he loved his siblings more than anything else in the world, he knew he wanted his siblings, and he knew they felt the same way about each other and about him.

That was all he needed to know, and _they_ were all he needed to have.

  
A psychoanalyst would also be likely start scribbling in their notepad if Thorin would mention that what he enjoyed most in the bedroom was to sit back and watch Frerin and Dís pleasure each other, occasionally giving suggestions as he touched himself.

He could imagine what the notes would say. That he felt less guilty about the forbidden nature of the relationship if he did not physically partake in it, or something else just as moronic.

Thorin enjoyed watching them simply because they were beautiful, and he enjoyed watching beauty in all forms. And truly, there were not two people alive more beautiful than his brother and sister.  
  
-

“Thorin, don’t you _dare_ come unless you’re inside of me,” Dís warned as she heard him groan softly. “I told you I wanted both of you to fuck me tonight.”  
  
“I’m not sure if I should take that as an insult or not,” Frerin mused. “Am I not doing a good enough job?”  
  
It looked like he was, and Thorin gently worked his fist up and down his hard cock as he watched Frerin slide in and out of Dís’ cunt, both activities accompanied with soft slick sounds, but Frerin and Dís had not needed any lube to produce theirs.  
  
“Get back to me when you’ve figured out how to have multiple orgasms,” Dís said and dug her heels into the small of Frerin’s back. “I want to get fucked until I can’t feel my toes, and considering the average male’s stamina I’m lucky I have two of you.”  
  
“I’m definitely beginning to feel insulted now,” Frerin said. He puckered his lips and looked pleadingly down at Dís. “I need a kiss.” He glanced at Thorin. “Or you can come over here and give me one?”  
  
“Not yet,” Thorin said and shook his head.  
  
Frerin sniffed, though he did not stop moving his hips. “That was the final straw. I am officially insulted.”  
  
“Oh, come here,” Dís said and cupped his face, pulling him down in a dirty open-mouthed kiss that was just as much for Thorin’s benefit as it was for Frerin’s, judging by the way she kept their heads angled towards Thorin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have thirty new prompts, but as I'm doing the reverse big bang and also, giving my WIPs a chance to live, I'll do more prompts earliest in November. See you around!
> 
> (and if you had a favourite story out of these thirty ones, please let me know!)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Obscene Oh-Oh-October](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2388002) by [diemarysues](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diemarysues/pseuds/diemarysues)




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